White Underwear?

pants

I’ve never understood white underwear. You see all the adverts on TV and the guy on the front of underwear packets wearing a nice crisp pair of white boxers or pants. They should show a rear view of him with brown streaks on the pants too in order to portray the complete picture of what you’re about to get yourself into.

Thinking aloud here but why in the fuck would any man want to wear WHITE underwear. I can apply this to the context of the gym here but even for everyday life I can’t think of damn thing more dangerous than white underwear.

Should I accidently shit myself or rip one of those farts out that leaves a skid the last thing I want to do is advertise this by wearing white underwear. There is no hiding it. You’re getting changed in the locker room, or you’ve finished PE at school, or you imagine any endeavour in your life where you need to publicly take your trousers off and there is that nightmare moment when you’re parading around in your underwear and its blatantly apparent you’ve shit yourself or have skids. That’s not going to be a good thing for any man.

Now the gym. You may know the feeling and straining for that last rep on squats or deadlifts. The risk of following through or a wet fart is far too high here to run the risk of white underwear, so I advise against wearing white underwear especially in the gym or doing some sort of sport.

My advice to anyone is to not bother with white underwear, it just isn’t worth the risk!

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New Year, new you? The 1 month club

I hate New Year’s resolutions for 2 reasons.

  1. New Year’s resolutions seem so gimmicky and pointless. Everyone makes them and mostly everyone fails to stick to them.
  1. They make my gym a breeding ground for the ‘1 month club’ member, as I like to put it. Gyms around the country are full of people who only use their membership for one month before simply giving up. Are you of them? Or do you know someone like this?

What is the problem with New Year’s resolutions?

Well there is nothing wrong with having good intentions, changing your lifestyle, self, job or personality for the better of yourself, others around you and for mankind. I think most people also have a New Year’s resolution because they know it doesn’t matter if they don’t see it through. I just don’t get why it must happen on the 1st of January either.

If you use this practice in everyday life situations you’ll probably agree it seems ridiculous. Let’s use a couple of examples….

Example 1-

Your car has a problem with the engine, do you get it fixed which saves much hassle, money and stress later on and resolve the issue by nipping it in the bud? Or do you ignore it and think to add it to your list of ‘New Year’s’ resolutions?

Example 2-

A certain aspect of your character is causing destructive damage to your relationships with the people in your house and the work place. Is it best to decide to change and address this issue once it is brought to your attention or ignore it and then half-heartedly add it as a New Year’s resolution?

You get where I’m going. Essentially any time in the year is as good a time as any to make any positive changes to your life. This applies to all facets of your life be it work, health, relationships, parenting, mind-set, diet, health and training. Don’t make a resolution in January, make it when an issue comes to light or when you want to make a change. Don’t bury your head in the proverbial sand and ignore things, grab the bull by the bollocks and take it for a ride.

Back to training, diet and health

So you’ve been seeing the scales move the wrong way for a while, you feel like dog shit warmed up, you’re unimpressed by your apparently lack of motivation to train and eat well and you’re turning into a fat fuck? Well don’t decide that you’ll do it in January. Seize the day and do it, do it now!

There is no moment like the present, you need to be an adult and admit you’re not happy with something and then go about rectifying the issue. Again this applies to all facets of your life.

Where to start

Recognition that you want to make a change in your life is the first step. I would then suggest you write down your goals in black and white, make them realistic too. Pin this piece paper to your diary, work station or mirror at home. Fitness goals can be to add size, strength, loose body fat, compete in a show, do a strongman comp or better your athletic performance in your chosen sport. Make these goals measurable- How strong do you want to be, what position do you want in your next competition?

Next you need to arm yourself with the correct and relevant information to give you the best chance of making your goals happen. In terms of bettering your physique you need to read, research and look at scientific studies and books. Also if you can find a decent PT (good luck) consult with him or her and make a plan to set you up for success. Study diet options and buy in the food you need to make it easier.

Make adjustments over time. Don’t be dogmatic in your approach. Take new ideas on board. If certain things are not working for you then change them for example.

The definition of madness is trying the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome”-Einstein

Will power

Something few people have, such as immense wealth, a perfect character or great physique does not come over night. It requires great mental strength in the long term. You may hit a plateau, you may have life situations that stand in your way or stressful times that test your will power. Are you going to just fold and give in? “oh it was too hard so….…” so what? You just jacked in like a giant vagina and gave up?!

See it through, after a time the changes you made to your lifestyle that seemed tough will be standard and you’ll just be riding the wave.

On a personal level this year is going to be pretty tough for me, with health issues and other stuff going on its going to get tough. But fuck it, I’ll meet any adversity head on and not let it destroy what I’m trying to do in general with my physique or my life. Don’t be the dog that rolls over and dies, be the dog that bites back.

Final thought

Don’t be one of these people that buys a 12 month gym membership and uses it for 30 days, act now and start to focus on your health and fitness goals. I guarantee once you start seeing the progress you’ll pick up momentum and gain the ability to carry the mind-set you’ve acquired over into other areas of your life. Apply some of the principles outlined above and don’t hang around waiting for a magic time of the year to start them.

Calling Bull Shit on Health/Fitness/Muscle Magazines

I loved the idiot abroad series with Karl Pilkington. One particular bit I enjoyed was when they asked Karl which super hero he would be. “Bull shit man” was his reply. It would be good if bullshit man could fly into the editing rooms of health and muscle magazines and just point the finger and say “bull shit”. Or better still, a man standing in Tesco looking at a health magazine on the shelf, before he wastes £4 of his hard earned cash bull shit man flies in with his cape on and says “bull shit, don’t do it!”.

You’ll note I’ve used the term ‘health magazine’ and ‘muscle magazine’ when really I mean any magazine that is specifically aimed at men (I don’t want to pick on just one of them).The word ‘Men’s’ and ‘Fitness’ may also heavily feature in the magazine title so I will leave you guys to put 2 and 2 together to find out which magazine I ‘might’ be aiming this at.

What’s the problem?

So what’s wrong with health magazines? Well I’d ask you what’s right about them. You think they’re in business to help people right, or provide ideas on training and diet that help the man of today be as fit and healthy as he wants. All the while basing their articles on science studies and sensible rationale? I’m going to point out the obvious things that are clearly wrong with these magazines, they may be obvious but thousands of us go out and waste money on this tripe each month.

The male model on the front cover

You want to look like the cover model don’t you? In fact the probable main reason you wasted your money on the magazine was because you saw the shirtless guy on the front cover and thought to yourself “I want to look like that”. The reader gets sucked into thinking that this chap on the cover got his physique by following the BS published in the holy grail of training and diet that’s contained in the magazine, and hence if you buy the magazine you’ll get there too.

The truth is the guy on the front has not used the methods in the magazine, instead he’s used a sensible system based on progressive overload training while being strict with his diet. Sorry its true- he didn’t use the ‘abs in 4 weeks’ pamphlet enclosed in the magazine.

Ironic I find it that these magazines always have the words ‘health’ and ‘fitness’ in them yet the cover model I suspect is far from healthy. But he’s shredded with 16 inch guns you say? Well that’s true but the methods he used to get there are far from healthy. The guy has likely used steroids to get the physique he has, not sure many doctors that would agree that injecting 500mg of Testosterone and 250mg of Trenbolone a week is all that healthy long term.  For those of you questioning whether the guy is REALLY using steroids, please wake up from dream land and welcome yourself to the real world. He’s also likely used a diuretic to drop water weight to look shredded on the day which dehydrates him and dries him out giving a more ripped look. Another thing guys do before photo shoots is diet very hard often with low caloric intakes and low carbohydrate intakes again leaving the body depleted. Picture of health?

He’s likely waxed all over before the shoot, he’s either had a spray tan or sat on a sun bed to get the skin tone required. He’s also more than likely ‘pumped up’ before the shoot to make the muscles stand out and make the veins more pronounced.

Then there is the likely airbrushing and photoshop editing that happens to remove any small imperfections. Not to mention the guy will almost certainly have superior genetics than most, he will naturally have a predisposition to holding a low body fat, have a decent muscle mass, have great muscle insertions and when you combine hard work and drugs to this then it’s a perfect storm.

What I’m getting at is the cover model’s physique is a pipe dream to all but 0.1% (or less) of the population (especially naturally) and all that the magazine has achieved by including the cover model is given men insecurity in their own body and of course sell a magazine to you.

Creating insecurity in modern society

How many of your father’s (or any guy above the age of 50) remotely gave two shits about having 16 inch arms, or having abdominal muscles or waxing their chests? I suspect not one of them. Although there were the old school body builders of the 70’s as well as Charles Atlas and Steve Reeves who all had impressive physiques, there was not the constant media bombardment that men have today towards looking a certain way. We’ve all been brain washed. Is there any wonder why young guys have unhealthy obsessions with the gym, take steroids, have eating disorders and waste their money on supplements that don’t work, as well as buying health and muscle mags.

To me it is obvious. The media, which includes health and muscle magazines, tell us that a man should look like a cover model and that this is all that a woman wants. It plays on our insecurities that they’ve created in order to sell you the magazine and the products that are advertised in them. It is all about money and sales at any cost.

The content

But these magazines are pumping out great content right to achieving all your training goals?

Most of what is published in these magazines, in fact 99% or more of what is published is complete and utter bull shit in terms of content. There are no two ways about it. In fact much of what is included in the magazine is usually irrelevant to what the cover is suggesting.

How pissed would I be to spend £4 or so on this magazine that had ‘health’ or ‘fitness’ on the cover only to open up the magazine and find shit loads of advertisements and product promotions, many of which are completely irrelevant which include:

  • Omega watches-Thanks muscle mag. I want to find out how to drop body fat but what I’ve learned is I should be spending £600 on a gold Omega watch that Lewis Hamilton says he wears.
  • Shampoo- You want 17 inch arms? Well forget that, you can have head and shoulders instead. Maybe if you rub it into your arms it makes them grow.
  • Anti-ageing cream-You want some decent dietary advice? Who needs diet when you can reduce the wrinkles around your forehead and eyes buy rubbing some £20 cream into your face?
  • Maxi Muscle protein supplements- No need for a consistent diet, just drink expensive supplement drinks for all your dreams to come true.
  • Sexual advice- In case you have no clue what the fuck you’re doing in the bedroom (which the magazine will convince you) the magazine will include articles on ‘how to send a woman crazy in bed’ which offers tips and techniques in the bedroom. Thanks health magazine, if only I’d had this kind of help before I lost my virginity, perhaps I wouldn’t have been so bad?

Have a look at the picture collage below I created from one of these magazines, the content people are really after is not going to be found in these magazines. You’re just not going to get the results, but I promise you you’ll be poorer and be left clueless in the process.

MH

Burn 3kg of fat with 1 dumbbell in 4 weeks? You heard it here first people. Forget a solid clean diet full of nutrient dense foods at a sensible caloric intake for your goals, a sensible training programme based on progressive overload and doing cardio because….all you need is a dumbbell and 4 weeks (face palm)

Same goes for 16 day abs? If it took just 16 days to go from fatty to 6 pack abs then wouldn’t we all be walking around with a fight club physique?

Running more to gain muscle? How many muscular guys do you recall seeing doing marathons, that’s right-none! Doing a lot of running by definition is catabolic, which means its breaks down the cells in the body including muscle. Excessive running is NOT going to be the most productive way to build muscle. Training with weights and eating is what is needed.

You’ll also see headlines on the front of these magazines such as “Best arm workout for 16 inch arms” or something along these lines. I’d love to know how many times the same magazine has published the best arm routine. I know there is more than one way to skin a cat but the let’s be clear, the elements of building muscle that are required are the same for every muscle group. There is no special way to train, you just need to be consistent, use progressive overload, eat well and monitor over time. Literally everything you need to know about how to build muscle can be explained in one book (or even a few paragraphs), so why do health magazines need to change it or drag it out over 15 years. Wait there is a pattern here! Selling bullshit to insecure guys to sell magazines and products all the while promising more next month to keep you buying more.

Hopefully some of you out there will be able to take something away from this, if nothing though I hope that you all know that bull shit man is out there and he’s watching over us all.

Ground Zero

This website has been a long time in the making, it has been my intention for a while now to start writing about training and all associated topics to provide a free, reliable source of information. It started with a small Facebook group called The League of Lunatics which seemed like a good name, and so the League of Lunatics was born.

I’ve grown bored of reading so much rubbish out there which is usually misleading, contradicting and downright bull shit on many levels. Plenty of people are selling out to push a product that doesn’t work, or sell you PT sessions or ideas which are regurgitated horse manure and bro-science they heard in a locker room.

I figured it was time to stop complaining and to start publishing proper material with no real financial agenda. Had I found and listened to a few people with REAL knowledge back when I started training, I would have saved years of trial and error.

It scares me being in the gym sometimes, hearing kids talking about their training methods, magic potions they’re taking  and their diets – Obviously all obtained from the latest issue of the holy grail of training that is ‘Men’s Health’ (not!).

Nothing is off limits and my articles will likely offend and shock some, as well as wind up some corporations. I’ll be discussing some taboo subjects honestly, such as steroid use, drugs in sport as well as addressing general diet and training issues and any other general rants I feel like having. I plan to try and include some interviews with athletes from all walks of sport to give a perspective from others.

So enough rambling, I’ll be posting up articles periodically on here so keep visiting, sharing and liking. I welcome interaction so leave comments and feel free to contact me for any questions you might like addressed and published.